The Musical Wanderings of a Baby Bush

I thought it might be a good idea to give people an overview of my musical history. But this is coming from a guy who also thought it was a good idea to have American Gladiator night at the retirement home.  The hamster ball event went down smoothly, it was the Eliminator that really ruined the night.  R.I.P. Estelle, you should have picked the door on the left you have no one to blame but yourself...and Herman...because that was a vicious hit son!!!  *Chest Bumps Herman* 

I grew up on Golden oldies, the station was called Cool 101, and the DJ's had names like the Big Bopper and the Godfather. Those deep baritone voices of the Casey Kasem era. Your typical golden voiced dude, spitting lines like,

"Comin up next we got the Temptations with "My Girl." "This is the Godfather hoping you and YOUR girl stay cooooool." You could hear the fake cheese oozing over the airwaves but it felt so comfortable.  That's what DJ's sounded like.  They were Shooter Mcgavins constantly firing at you.

After listening to our soothing music we all went to the hop and acted racist, right before we drag raced and got buzz cuts.  Ohhh the good old days, with those gas shortages, wars, and outright racism, I miss them like I miss my subservient, well manicured, always baking something awesome wifey.  Shout out to June!!

The station played pop hits from the 50's and 60's.  I remember getting down to some Little Anthony and the Imperials, "Tears On My Pillow."


Grab some music after the jump.



I once called in and requested Elvis Presley's, "Return To Sender."  No idea why because that song isn't even that good, stupid kid, everyone knows the best Elvis song is his cover of UB40's, "Can't Help Falling In Love With You."  He almost did them justice....almost.  You don't see Elvis' version on the Sliver Soundtrack do you?  In YO FACE Elvis!!  You mess with the UB40 bull and you get the horns. 

This station was my musical beginnings, The Platters, Ricky Nelson, The Four Seasons stuff of that ilk.  Pure poppy sugary goodness in easily digestible two minute bites.  Deeeelicious.

In third grade my favorite band was the Beach Boys, I had mad cassettes yo.  I used to love their live album.  "The Beach Boys Concert" which was actually recorded at the Memorial Auditorium, in Sacramento.  I liked it for all the wrong reasons though, I mean I dug the harmonies and all of that but I think my favorite song was, "The Monster Mash."  Which isn't even their song and also happens to suck ass.  Ugh you had abysmal taste, stupid baby Greybush...or should it be no bush?

The Beach Boys- The Monster Mash

I just re-listened to that song and not only is it fucking horrible, but what the hell are those girls screaming for. Calm down crazies that song sucks and the Beach Boys are pre-Uncle Jesse or in science speak the B.U.J. era. There is no reason for that type of fanaticism, everyone knows they did their best work A.U.J. The After Uncle Jessie era was unfazeable. Anyone remember a little song called Kokomo? Fuck yeah you do, up high, coming at ya, are you ticklish? I was trying to buy the song from Amazon and make you listen, but even Amazon refuses to have anything to do with that song. Shit keeps crashing. That's a shame. I guess something from the B.U.J. period will have to serve as a meager substitute. I'll give you a couple to make up for their uneven value. One kokomo is worth 3 of these atrocities.

The Beach Boys- God Only Knows


The Beach Boys- Surfer Girl


The Beach Boys- I Know There's An Answer


The Beach Boys- California Girls


The Beach Boys- Wouldn't It Be Nice


I was all up in the oldies with sprinklings of my parent's horrible taste added in on car rides.  I guess they did listen to the oldies station sometimes but most of the time it was that god damn KFBK talk radio bullshit, is there any better way to bore a child to death than talk radio?  Ohhhh another fucking traffic report awesome!!!  They never bumped music in the house...fucking weirdos.  Actually maybe it's a good thing because they may have had worst taste than baby Greybush.  My Mom who is completely clueless about the music she should have been listening to while growing up liked The Carpenters and John Denver.  Seriously?  You grew up in the most awesome time for music ever and you hitch your wagon to them?  Sam, Otis, Aretha, Curtis, sooo many other people you could have been listening to and you settle on them?  She says she didn't listen to music and then I call her a nerd and curse the lack of available lockers to stuff nerds in.  You got lucky this time nerd. *Points menacingly at Mom*

My mom was a water aerobics instructor when I was little so she had tapes with horrible fucking music on them.  Even if they weren't thaaat bad the inherent corniness of them being connected to a bunch of old ladies doing jazzercise in a pool has tainted them forever.  Whenever I hear any of those songs it just makes me think of pure cheese, if it weren't for those memories I am sure I would love, "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins...ha yeah-fucking-right.  The tapes were like, "Now That's What I Call Corny Music."  They were shitty compilations that I think were put together by.....Shell gas stations.  Shell, a name you can trust to compile music....yeah no clue whose idea that was, but guess who got to enjoy those awesome tunes anyway?  Say baby Greybush, say it.  So it was stuff like this douche in the Cosby sweater, Fleetwood Mac's, "Don't Stop Believing" and, "The Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack" that stick out as the music my parents rocked.  Thanks for helping in my musical formation by showing me what shit music was.

Next episode- Shit's About To Get Real