I Hate Chrismas Music

It's true you can call me a Grinch or a Scrooge if you want to. I really don't care. I have nothing against the commercialization of the holiday, that's actually my favorite part. Here is why I don't like Christmas music, I just take issue with songs that suck. Simple as that, I don't hate Christmas, just shitty songs, and at what time of year do radio stations play non-stop shitty songs? The correct answer is all year, but what I mean is when do they play extra shitty songs? That's right during Christmas.

You can not tell me that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a good song. You can say it's a sentimental song, that it's tied back to your youth and reminds you of your sugary sweet childhood and your Eddie Bauer turtlenecks, but you can't say that it's a good song. It's corny, it's maaaad corny. Fuck Frosty, Grandma got ran over by a reindeer? Seriously? Who needs to hear that bullshit? It's gross, not in subject matter but just in general.

I used to work in a mall, they played Christmas music during the holidays.  Kind of expected, I can deal with that. Most of the songs irritated me, some infuriated me. This one sticks out as one of the worst songs I have ever heard, Christmas themed or otherwise.

You want an alien for Christmas? I hate you.  Good news though, this song still gets played because regardless of whether or not a song sucks, if you mention snow, some jackass will put it on a, "Now That's What I Call shitty Christmas Music vol. 68."  Other honorable mentions for worst Christmas music, The New Kids On The Block and the entire, "Funky, Funky Christmas" album and Bob Dylan with his weird holiday album.  Do we really need to hear Bob growling about Santa Claus?

Now with all that being said, I would be remiss to not acknowledge that .02 percent of Christmas music that doesn't entirely suck.  Someone would yell at me if I didn't mention, "All I Want For Christmas Is You," by Mariah Carey.  It doesn't suck Jingle Bells sized balls, and I acknowledge it as a well executed Christmas song.  But I am more of a Dean Martin, "Baby It's Cold Outside" kind of guy.  Nat King Cole can sing about whatever he wants too, chestnuts on fires.  Hmm, sounds like a horrible idea for a song, but Nat will make it work.  The, "Charlie Brown Christmas" soundtrack is also extremely well done.  I am a sucker for Vince Guaraldi.  I am also a fan of Mayer Hawthorne.  You might be able to tell with his mention in every other post.  Anyway, two of the things that I like; Vince and Mayer are united on this song, "Christmas Time Is Here."  Mayer just posted it yesterday and, shieet even I can't be mad at it.  Merry Christmas. *Adjusts turtleneck*

Here's what Mayer had to say, "All the best Christmas songs were written by Jews, and Chanukah songs suck. This is my favorite Christmas tune, sung over the Vince Guaraldi instrumental."
Mayer Hawthorne - Christmas Time Is Here by Mayer Hawthorne